


Daffodils

by Lljung



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, But still as got7, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 06:52:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9981668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lljung/pseuds/Lljung
Summary: Yugyeom lived many life, loving the same person. This time though, his love was unrequited.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: when you were born and reincarnated many times just to fall in love with the same person over and over again

Yugyeom felt exhausted after his practice. He tried to avoid thinking too much about all that happened to him and his recent feeling to certain someone. He drowned himself in dancing, hoping everything will be okay when he was back to reality. 

He also avoided sleeping, afraid that he would get another dream that will just worsen his emotions. Yes, it was started with a dream. A dream which so real even when he woke up it stays in his head like he just experienced it for real. When those dreams repeated again and again, plots adding, creating stories, he wondered, were they merely just dreams. 

He wouldn’t mind that much if not for the fact his best friend somehow involved in every dream he had. It was getting worse when not only in dreams those fraction of events, taking in a form strangely similar to memories, appeared, but also when he was simply daydreaming or thinking about nothing. 

When he always bombarded by those dreams, he couldn’t help seeing the objects of his dream, Bambam, in different light. 

Yugyeom had long given up fighting with himself and accepted that those are memories of his reincarnation. He didn’t know how much he was born again since thosand years ago but he was sure the memory of him and Bambam as lovers was much more than he could handle emotionally right now. He couldnt decided which was worse, the good memories or the bad memories. The good memories just brought more longing to what he couldn’t have now but the bad memories always left him with dread feelings. 

All those sleepless nights finally took a tool on his body. 

Usually he would practice till late at night but tonight his body aching, he wanted to go home and sleep. He contemplated whether he should went to his own home or to the dorm. To reach his own home, it needed a half an hour of bus ride and he had to walk to station quite far. With his aching body he decided to just went to the dorm. Bambam probably had not back yet from his photoshot so he could straight crashing to his bed without dealing with him. 

He knew he had distanced himself from his bestfriend but what can he do, it was painful everytime he saw him when each time memories flooding his mind and all he wanted to do was to reach out to him and hold him and told him that they’re finally here. That he had loved him for all his live even when it never works, and maybe this time, in this live, their love would work.

But he had to catch himself before he did any of that because Bambam wouldn’t believe it and Yugyeom knew how absurd that was and he couldn’t risk their friendship. 

How surprised he was when he found Bambam laying on his bed as he opened his room. Yugyeom was stunned and don’t know how to set his face facing him. It’s starting to feel difficult to not show how much he loved his roommate because each day, his feeling just getting stronger even after all his attempts to stop it. 

Bambam also look quite surprised, didn’t expect yugyeom to came early, Yugyeom always came home at midnight lately, they barely met. When he got a good look of Yugyeom, he showed his concern. 

“it’s good you come back early. Your dark circles is scary. Don’t push yourself too hard, you know, health always come first, ” Bambam lectured as he sat up. He still looked at yugyeom with assertive eyes while Yugyeom seemed to avoid meeting his eyes. 

“Have you eat?” 

Yugyeom just srughed. He put down his bag and start to change his clothes. 

“I haven’t eat either, come to the kitchen, I’ll make us some fried rice, with omelet on top, special for you,” he said cheerfully and headed to the kitchen. 

Yugyeom sigh. He knew Bambam tried to cheer him up, he must looked awful if Bambam even offered to cook for him. He smiled a little at the thought his bestfriend still care enough about him. Even if they are not lovers, he still had him. And he tried to be more grateful about that. 

He followed Bambam to the kitchen. The dorm was empty except for the two of them. Lately, every member got individual schedule and everyone was busy. They rarely met each other. Even the last time he and Bambam talked to each other was three days ago. Group chat and kakaotalk didn’t include of course. 

Bambam was starting to heat the pan when they heard the front door opened. They immediately know who the person was from his loud voice. 

“I’m home!” It was Jackson. 

Yugyeom saw how Bambam’s eyes lit up, halted the things he did before. 

“Jackson hyung!” Bambam even using an aegyeo when he called up his name.

Yugyeom was not a jealous type, really, but how he did not?

Jackson directly approached them, or Bambam to be excact, and he hugged Bambam as if Yugyeom wasn’t there.  
“Hi babe, I missed you so so much,” he whined into Bambam’s neck, which was replied by a delightful giggles by the smaller. 

They hugged as if they hadn’t met for days, which was true, actually. Jackson knew Yugyeom was aware of their relationship so they didn’t tried to hide their affectionate acts, Jackson even tried to kiss Bambam on his lips, but the later stopped him immediately. 

At this, Yugyeom couldn’t stand it anymore. He stood up from his chair.  
“I need to go out.” he told them, hoping he didn’t sound upset and bitter, before he stormed out of the room.

He couldn’t remember clearly how he get into the rooftop, all he know that he just want to get out, want to run away from them. He wanted his peace back. He wanted to undo his…, his vision, or whatever it was. 

Why it happened to him? Why he had to remember all of it but not Bambam? Why he couldn’t just be Bambam’s bestfriend?

He wanted to cry, to tell someone all of this but he can’t. He couldnt go to Jaebum, or Jinyoung, crying his heart out like he used to. If he told people about his dreams, or his memories, they would think he’s crazy. 

He never felt this helpless. 

A light sound of someone’s step approached him. Yugyeom was facing the city below him, standing on the edge of the rooftop, but he knew just from the sound that it was Bambam. 

He was right. When Bambam came in within his peripheral view, Yugyeom didn’t expect a can of beer offered his way. Yugyeom took it reluctantly. 

“Why are you here?” Wasn’t Bambam supposed to make out with Jackson right now? His mind added bitterly. 

“You seemed upset. I just want to make sure you didn’t do something stupid.”

“Look who’s talking.” Yugyeom snorted. 

They both chuckled, however, Yugyeom didn’t deny Bambam’s first sentense. 

“What about jackson though? He must be jealous.” 

“Come on, man!” Bambam said in english, “He will be okay. Well, he might be sulky for a while, but he’ ll be fine. He needs to sleep anyway.”

Yugyeom couldn’t help to feel smug that his friend still choose him over his boyfriend. Maybe he still have a chance.  
Yugyeom quickly dismissed the thought. It was cancerous thought and he had enough on his plate. He couldn’t risk got7 as a group. 

No one speak for the next minutes. They just opened their can and drank in silence. It was odd because whenever they together, as long as he remember, they were always loud. There is always words to exchange. 

Bambam couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “What is this? Why are you being strange lately? Are you avoiding me?”

Yugyeom just shook his head. He had this sad smile which made Bambam uncomfortable because this is new. Yugyeom was never like this. When he was sad, he would not smile, he would cry or whine or anything but not smiling like this. Bambam tried to study his face, tried to find what Yugyeom’s hiding. Yugyeom was always like an open book, he didn’t understand why he tried to conceal his feeling now, even in front of him. 

“What’s the problem? Is this a revenge for when I didn’t tell you I was gay? So now you wont share your problem with me?”

Yugyeom chuckled. He looked far away to the distance. Suddenly bambam realized how Yugyeom seemed so different right now, but not unfamiliar. He didn’t know how to explain it but the look in Yugyeom’s eyes were so deep, like the look you see in someone who had live for thousands years even though he still could see the storm in his eyes. 

This makes Bambam hesitant to ask further, somehow knowing he won’t get much. 

Bambam drank his beer and followed Yugyeom looking at the distant. The city was quite beautiful at night looking from above, all the bright light as exchange for the stars in the sky. He looked up at the dark sky, it looked like a big hole that swallow the earth beneath and he wonders how small they are compared to the universe. He chuckled at the thought, he must be drunk. 

But he wasn’t drunk enough to not notice the sudden warmth that enveloped him from behind. He didn’t realize Yugyeom had moved and now his long limbs was drapped over his body. It was unusual and Bambam actually quite enjoyed it in the middle of the chilly weather. 

“I fall in love,” he suddenly said. 

It’s ridiculous how bambam felt his heart dropped when he heard it. It was not like he was about to get some love confession. His lips dry when he opened to ask but before he could say anything, Yugyeom beat him.

“I should not to, though.”

“Why?” Bambam asked, curious. 

“He doesn’t love me.”

“How do you know? Wait, what??! He??” Bambam immediately turned around to look at him. Did he misheard something? Does it mean what he thought it mean? 

Yugyeom looked back at him, his expression calm, it was completely different from before.  
Bambam didn’t know what to say. He never knew yugyeom was gay. 

“Why you didn’t tell me? When I came out to you, you didn’t say anything.” He accused, feeling a little betrayed. 

Come to think of it, Bambam was furious, how Yugyeom talked about trust back then when he himself didn’t trust him enough. Bambam felt like a fool. He was about to say something when Yugyeom cut him. 

“I wasn’t gay at that time. I didn’t know. I never thought about it because I like girls and it never crossed my mind to like a boy. At least, until I fall for him.”  
  
At his explanation, Bambam found his rage vanished, “And who is this guy?” 

Yugyeom was avoiding his eyes now. 

“Is he someone I knew?”

Still, there is no answer. 

“Oh my god! Is he one of our member?” 

Yugyeom’s expression hardly changed but Bambam knew he was right. _Shit_. No wonder yugyeom looked like a mess. Being a gay in this society was hard enough, and to love someone who’s straight on top of that. 

Bambam, for some reason, didn’t want to know anymore who the person was. 

There’s nothing Bambam could do so he just pulled Yugyeom into his hug. 

Yugyeom felt his chest tightened. It’s funny how he was so close yet so far away from the one he loved. If only Bambam knew.


End file.
